The Saucy Mare
by BabyKakes
Summary: Titanic...Reboot style.
1. Default Chapter

Note: O.C. means Off Camera. Also, some scenes might be switched around, so something things might not be in the right order. Bare with me people, you can live through it. Also, real Titanic fans, don't feel offended. This is just for fun. We like TItanic, so it's not meant to be bad. Don't get mad at me! :-)  
  
  
  
SCENE: A set. Bob is scribbling away a couple of last minute things on a script. Dot walks over to him.  
  
DOT: Can we please start filming? This movie you've written is so long, you're wasting valuable filming time just to make it even longer!  
  
BOB: Quiet! Do not disturb the writing genius!  
  
DOT: (rolls eyes) I can't believe you wrote the story in this fashion. The character organization is terrible. I'm in it, but you're not there for me to go out with in the movie. What are the Reboot fans going to think? I'm not even going to start with that thing with AndrAIa, Matrix, and Ray.  
  
BOB: We are actors. We've acted in lots of things. I think we can handle something like this.  
  
DOT: That's not the point. What about the fans of Reboot?  
  
BOB: They can go get a life.  
  
DOT: (Shocked!) Those fans are our reason for being!  
  
BOB: (Hurt, looks up from his script.) I thought I was your reason for being!  
  
DOT: (rolls eyes again.) Can we please start filming?  
  
ANDRAIA (off scene): Hey Bob! We're waiting here! We've got our lines learned, now all we need is the camera!  
  
BOB: (calls off) Okay! (Turns to Dot.) Trust me, okay? This is a Bob original.  
  
DOT: (Skeptically) Oh yeah? Your story line sure reminds me of that one movie with that Leo guy. You know, with the unsinkable ship? Now, what was that ship called…  
  
BOB: (loudly) Okay guys! Places! (Waits as everyone scrambles around, then grabs his camera.) Okay. And…action!  
  
A BOB ORIGINAL MOVIE.  
  
BY THE PRODUCERS OF THE LITTLE PEOPLE  
  
WE BRING YOU…  
  
"THE SAUCY MARE."  
  
STARING DOT MATRIX, ANDRAIA, ENZO MATRIX, MIKE THE TV, ZERO-BINOME, RAY TRACER-  
  
DOT: (Voice off camera) Bob! Enough with the names!  
  
UM…OKAY. WELL, THESE ACTORS ALL PLAY AS THEMSELVES.  
  
(The movie begins)  
  
  
  
SCENE: In the web, our time. In this part of the web, though, there's water, so it looks like an ocean. (Bare with me, people. Let's just say there's water) A big submarine thing is slowly sinking toward a sunken ship, sitting at the bottom of the web. Obviously, this is the famous SAUCY MARE. Inside the submarine, Mike the TV is staring out the window, face pressed up against the glass, staring in awe at the ship.  
  
MIKE THE TV: (in whispered, serious amazement) There it is, the ship that we have been searching through endlessly for a very long time. This ship, the SAUCY MARE, had met its doom….(searching for the date, but fails to remember) a very long time ago. It had hit an ice burg that fateful day, and no matter what the people on it tried to do, it was all lost. And the ship sank, until it hit the ground below.  
  
ZERO-BINOME: (watching MIKE THE TV.)  
  
MIKE THE TV: (still in a hypnotic voice) these windows in this submarine are only a certain amount of inches thick, and if one goes out, it's sayanara before you could say 'Bob can dance the can-can.'  
  
ZERO-BINOME: (Snickers) You are so full of sh!t boss.  
  
BOB: (Off Camera) Wait! You're not supposed to say that! And MIKE, I didn't appreciate that last comment. Why do people add-lib? It's pointless!  
  
ZERO-BINOME: Sorry boss, but it just sounded better.  
  
BOB: (thinking it over.) Okay, sorry. Continue!  
  
MIKE THE TV: (Doesn't bother to look away from the window) Quiet! This is a momentous occasion for me! Don't interrupt my speech!  
  
ZERO-BINOME: (Tiredly) But boss, we've been down here many times before. And every time we go down here, you make that same speech.  
  
MIKE THE TV: Do not.  
  
ZERO-BINOME: Do too!  
  
MIKE THE TV: Zero-Binome, just get in your little funky suit and lets send the robots out so they could do all the dirty work for us.  
  
DOT: (O.C.) Bob, this is a very weak scene.  
  
A shaft underneath the submarine opens up, and a robot comes floating out. It heads toward the SAUCY MARE.  
  
MIKE THE TV: (looking through some monitor thingy) Careful! One little glitch and that robot's gone!  
  
ZERO-BINOME: (sighs) I've done this a million times, boss.  
  
MIKE THE TV: (Still looking at the monitor. They could both see as the robot goes inside the SAUCY MARE and starts exploring its hallways.) Okay now, we've checked all the other rooms, which one should we check now?  
  
ZERO-BINOME: MR. MATRIX'S room.  
  
MIKE THE TV: Why?  
  
ZERO-BINOME: Because through our research, we found out that it was him who had purchased the HEART OF THE WEB.  
  
MIKE THE TV: Oh yeah. Good reason.  
  
They both watch as the robot enters MATRIX'S room, and they both look around the monitor for anything that's worth looking at.  
  
MIKE THE TV: Hey! There!  
  
ZERO-BINOME: Where?  
  
MIKE THE TV: There!  
  
ZERO-BINOME: I don't see anything!  
  
MIKE THE TV: That door! That fallen door! Pick it up, I think there's something under it!  
  
ZERO-BINOME: (disgusted) What in the net would make you think there's something valuable hidden under a door?  
  
MIKE THE TV: Just do it!  
  
The robot unhooks its hands, and slowly lifts up the door. They both watch in awe as the door comes up, and flips over. Sitting under the door was….nothing.  
  
ZERO-BINOME: Failure again, boss.  
  
MIKE THE TV: Damn! Now the reporters are going to bug me and-  
  
ZERO-BINOME: I told you there wasn't going to be anything under that door!  
  
MIKE THE TV: (disappointed) Lets go back to our ship. Maybe an old lady called claiming she was a survivor of the Saucy Mare. That would lighten my second.  
  
ZERO-BINOME: What about the robot?  
  
MIKE THE TV: (Pauses for a long moment, than slaps his forehead.) I forgot my line!  
  
ZERO-BINOME: Wait! I see something!  
  
MIKE THE TV: (Suddenly perky.) What?! What?!  
  
ZERO-BINOME: Look, boss. Over there.  
  
They look, and sitting in a corner of the room is a small safe, looking all forlorn and secure. It's very clear of sight.  
  
MIKE THE TV: (slaps his forehead) Why didn't I see that before?  
  
  
  
SCENE: Back on the main ship. The safe has somehow been brought up on deck, and the whole crew is gathering around. Several of Mike's camera crew are there, taping the whole thing while Mike opens the safe.  
  
MIKE THE TV: (soft, subtle voice) And now, as we open the safe, we all quietly watch on. This might be the turn of our career. The turn of a lifetime! The turn of the century! (He opens the safe, and starts grabbing stuff and pulling stuff out. Several soiled papers, several Reboot episode tapes, and a folder of some sort.)  
  
ZERO-BINOME: That's it?  
  
MIKE THE TV: (still trying to find more stuff, but there's nothing. He looks very disappointed as he looks up at his camera crew.)  
  
ZERO-BINOME: (sighs) You know, I heard the same thing happened to Old Man Pearson, and his career never recovered.  
  
MIKE THE TV: (looks at the camera in disgust, then turns away.) Turn the camera off.  
  
  
  
SCENE: A lab or something on the ship. MIKE THE TV is pacing around, angrily, while some sort of SCIENTIST is going through some of the things from the safe.  
  
ZERO-BINOME: Well, at least it's not a total loss. We can still try again, and maybe this time we'll find the HEART OF THE WEB.  
  
SCIENTIST: MIKE, I think I've found something.  
  
MIKE and ZERO-BINOME hurry over to the table, to see that the SCIENTIST was cleaning off some sort of picture. It was a sprite, with long hair and a seashell holding one side up. She was lying on a couch, practically naked, wearing a necklace around her neck.  
  
ZERO-BINOME: Wow! She is hot!  
  
MIKE THE TV: You're telling me! Hubba hubba!  
  
SCIENTIST: You guys, look at the necklace.  
  
ZERO-BINOME: Oh, I'm looking!  
  
SCIENTIST: (elbows ZERO-BINOME in the stomach.) No, look! The necklace! Isn't that the HEART OF THE WEB?  
  
MIKE THE TV: Oh yeah…(still gazing at the picture) I must have forgotten……..  
  
  
  
SCENE: Dot's Diner. A young woman, DOT, is cleaning up the counter, the tv is blaring on MTV. An old lady, ANDRAIA, hobbles in, her hands are dirty.  
  
DOT: Grandmother! You should wash your hands. You shouldn't eat with clay on your fingers.  
  
ANDRAIA: (staring at the TV) turn that up, dear.  
  
DOT: (looks at TV) what, this? I don't know why you want to listen to the Spice Girls, I could've sworn they were out long ago.  
  
ANDRAIA: Well, I like MTV. Turn it up already!  
  
DOT: What would the customers think? (switches channel to the news, ignoring the 'hey!'s coming from around the diner. A newsreporter appears, interviewing MIKE THE TV.)  
  
MIKE THE TV: Yeah, we uh…found this picture inside the safe. Unfortunately, there was no diamond, but the picture sure keeps me warm at night!  
  
NEWSREPORTER: (skeptical) Really. Can we see the picture?  
  
MIKE THE TV: Sure! (holds the picture up to the camera.)  
  
ANDRAIA: (gasps, then nearly has a heart attack from doing so and stumbles.)  
  
DOT: Grandma! (grabs a hold of ANDRAIA and hoists her back on her feet.) Are you okay? What is it? (Both of them suddenly burst out laughing from the acting and double over on the floor.)  
  
BOB: (O.C) Cut! Cut!  
  
  
  
SCENE: Back on deck. MIKE THE TV is pacing, stopping every now and then to gaze at the picture. The phone rings.  
  
MIKE THE TV: (Grabs it.) Hello?  
  
ANDRAIA: Hello. Is this MIKE THE TV?  
  
MIKE THE TV: Yes it is. How can I help you?  
  
ANDRAIA: My name is AndrAIa and I was just wondering, Mr. THE TV, if you had found the HEART OF THE WEB yet.  
  
MIKE THE TV: (chin drops in surprise) You have my attention, AndrAIa. (gazes back at the picture.) Do you know who the hot chick in the picture is?  
  
ANDRAIA: Oh yes. The woman in the picture is me.  
  
MIKE THE TV: REALLY? Now you really have my attention! Can you fly over? How old are you now?  
  
ANDRAIA: Oh…I'm about 9.0 now.  
  
MIKE THE TV: (staring at picture and mumbles.) Darn!  
  
BOB: (O.C) Cut! That is a sexual remark! I think I'd better-  
  
DOT: (O.C) Shut up Bob.  
  
  
  
SCENE: Several days later. A helicopter thing is landing on deck, and MIKE THE TV and ZERO-BINOME are heading in its direction.  
  
ZERO-BINOME: She's a goddarn liar! How could she be that woman? That woman had to be 2.3 or something!  
  
MIKE THE TV: People grow up!  
  
ZERO-BINOME: That's no excuse! Look, I did some research on this lady. Her name was AndrAIa Tracer. She got married to a guy named Masin, and she punches out a couple of kids. Now, Masin's dead, and I'm pretty sure-  
  
MIKE THE TV: Shut up! (Hurries toward helicopter. ANDRAIA, sitting in a wheelchair, is being lowered down to the deck. A younger woman named DOT is helping her out.)  
  
DOT: (Glancing around) Where's Bob?  
  
BOB: (O.C. Sighs.) Dot, I'm the director. Not the actor.  
  
DOT: (Looking O.C.) So? I'm still concerned with the Reboot fans.  
  
ANDRAIA: (To DOT) How do you think with me wearing all this old fogey make- up and talking to you like as if you were my granddaughter? It's absurd!  
  
BOB: This movie is supposed to take some risks. So put up with it. Continue please!  
  
DOT and ANDRAIA: (Sighs heavily.) Fine!  
  
MIKE THE TV: (Very slowly) Uh…welcome AndrAIa, I… (Slaps forehead again.) I forgot my line again! Why does this happen? I'm much better making things up as I go than reading off a script!  
  
ZERO-BINOME: (whispers) Your line is 'hope your stay is pleasant and that everything will meet your aquirements. Maybe later, we could all get together, and you could tell me about yourself and your story.'  
  
MIKE THE TV: (grins) Oh yes! (Turns back to ANDRAIA) I hope your stay is pleasant and…(trails off, than turns to ZERO-BINOME) What was the rest?  
  
DOT: (shakes her head in disgust and walks off the set, handing MIKE THE TV a goldfish bowl.)  
  
  
  
SCENE: Down inside the ship. There's a room where there's a bunch of monitors going over what the submarine robot had seen inside the SAUCY MARE. The group is in that room, and ANDRAIA is sitting in a chair next to a table stocked with antiques found inside the SAUCY MARE.  
  
MIKE THE TV: (Hands ANDRAIA the picture of her.) here you go. I think you might want that, since it's you and everything.  
  
ANDRAIA: Thank you. (Takes it, but MIKE is still holding on to it unwillingly. She tugs again, but he doesn't want to part with it. They get involved with a tug-o-war, resulting in ripping the picture in half.)  
  
ANDRAIA: (aghast, losing her 'old woman' voice and speaks in her regular one) You idiot! That wasn't in the script! You weren't supposed to rip the picture! Why I oughta… (She stands up and tries to attack MIKE, but DOT stops her.)  
  
DOT: ANDRAIA! That wasn't in the script either, so just control yourself. (glares at MIKE.)  
  
MIKE: (sheepishly) Sorry.  
  
ANDRAIA; (clears throat.) Sorry DOT.  
  
MIKE: (explodes) What do you mean by 'sorry DOT'? You're supposed to be sorry towards me!  
  
ANDRAIA; No I'm not!  
  
DOT: You guys!  
  
ZERO-BINOME: (Is cracking up in the background.)  
  
BOB: (O.C) Guys, calm down. Can we please continue?  
  
MIKE, ANDRAIA, AND DOT: FINE! (They return to their places and continue as if nothing had happened)  
  
ANDRAIA: (looking at the ripped picture in her hands. She speaks her next line, but she frowns at the same time.) Thanks MIKE…I'll treasure this…. (Frowns at the ripped picture.)  
  
MIKE: (Sits down across from her.) Tell us, ANDRAIA. Tell us, what happened aboard the Titan- oops! I keep wanting to say that! I mean, what happened…(pauses.) Darn! I forgot my line!  
  
ZERO-BINOME: (Comes in for the rescue.) Tell us AndrAIa, what happened aboard the SAUCY MARE?  
  
ANDRAIA: (snaps) What do you think? The boat sank, haven't you read the stories? Seen the movies? What else is new?  
  
ZERO-BINOME: (gulps) Well…uh…that was the line and all… (glances around.)  
  
ANDRAIA; (sighs.) Well, fine. I'll tell you my life story. Well, it happened a long time ago…Bob didn't have the time to look up the exact date of the sinking and write it down, so all I can say was it happened a long time ago…  
  
MIKE: It's okay. Just tell us. Anything you remember.  
  
ANDRAIA: (Blows up) EXCUSE ME, BUT I AM TRYING TO TELL YOU MY LIFE STORY, NOW IF YOU'D STOP INTERRUPTING, I'D START!!!!  
  
MIKE: (Startled) Sorry.  
  
ANDRAIA: A long time ago it happened, but I could still smell the fresh paint. The beds had never been slept in. The china had never been used. SAUCY MARE had been called the ship of dreams. And through experience, it really wasn't. It really wasn't.  
  
………Camera fades to the story of her life.  
  
  
  
SCENE: An overview of the SAUCY MARE, docked up to some sort of bay. People are swarming all over the place. (Mainly binomes. There are very few sprites walking around, but that's okay…) Off in the distance, a little girl binome is hugging her father.  
  
LITTLE GIRL BINOME: Daddy! Look at the big ship!  
  
Another overview of everyone. A binome is getting a haircut, another is getting a shave. The dock is bobbing up and down in the water, so of course the outcome of those two cuts aren't so wonderful. Off in the distance, several fancy cars pull up to the dock, loaded with suitcases. A door opens, and the younger ANDRAIA holds out a gloved hand. Her driver helps her out, and she straightens up, looking at the ship. Behind her, MATRIX gets out, carrying a cane. He starts swinging it, glances warily at it, than points it at the nearest people like as if it were a gun.  
  
ANDRAIA: (sighs heavily) It doesn't look any bigger than the Titanic.  
  
MATRIX: The what?  
  
ANDRAIA: The Titanic. You know, that big ship that sank in that movie and everyone cried at the end when-  
  
MATRIX: Oh. Well, ANDRAIA, you can be stupid about some things, but not about the SAUCY MARE. It's two times smaller than the Titanic, and far less luxerious…wait. Wouldn't that line be wrong, then? Bob! You've got this whole thing screwed! And I don't want to play the bad guy! Why do I have to play the stingy guys? It's not fair! I want my gun!  
  
ANDRAIA: (Turns to Matrix.) Shhh! You're an actor! Don't complain! Do you see me complaining? I have to do it with Ray!  
  
MATRIX: I'm a fighter, not an actor! Besides, I thought you liked that- hey! I didn't know THAT!  
  
BOB: Can we continue please?  
  
ANDRAIA: (rolls eyes.) Fine fine.  
  
MATRIX: (clears throat) What was I saying? Oh yeah. Anywho, this ship is unsinkable, nothing can sink this ship, yada yada yada, can we go now?  
  
BOB: (O.C) Why must I work with these people?  
  
.......To be continued 


	2. Part 2

It's the next day of shooting "The Saucy Mare" movie and already the actors are getting tired- especially Matrix. He insisted and went to Bob several times, claiming he didn't like his part.  
  
His opinion soon changed when he found out that he got to use a gun later on in the movie.  
  
It is now early in the morning, around 3:00, and Bob seems to be the only one fully awake. He's standing by the camera, checking the scenes in the script. Mouse goes up to him with a cup of energy coffee.  
  
MOUSE: Hey Bob, how's the script going?  
  
BOB: It's good, why?  
  
MOUSE: I don't really find it necessary for us to get up so early in the morning to shoot the next scenes.  
  
BOB: Of course it's necessary! The earlier we start, the more scenes we get to shoot by the end of the day.  
  
MOUSE: Oy.  
  
BOB: What are you complaining about? You haven't even shot one scene yet! As the character of the Unsinkable Mouse Brown.  
  
MOUSE: I don't like that description.  
  
BOB: Well I'm sorry. (looks toward the other actors who are gathered around the breakfast table, stuffing their faces. Each one is already costumed and through make-up, so they look exactly like their characters.) Okay people! Places!  
  
RAY: What scene are we shooting?  
  
BOB: The one with you in the tavern playing that one game where you win the tickets and stuff.  
  
RAY: Oh, that one. (turns to a one-binome beside him playing his friend in the scene and the rest of the movie.) Bob, I have a hard time pronouncing his name. Ah-breetsa-who?  
  
AH-BREETSA-WHO: Just call me Beets. Can't pronounce my name either.  
  
RAY: Works for me.  
  
Everyone clears the set and Ray takes his seat at some table with other binomes crowded around. BEETS takes his seat beside Ray.  
  
BOB: Annnnd….action.  
  
There's this long silence as each binome throws chips into the center of the table, each glowering at each other over the top of their cards. Finally Ray throws his chips over.  
  
RAY: Go fish!  
  
All the other binomes (except BEETS) groan and throw their cards down. Ray and Beets automatically start jumping up and down and hugging each other.  
  
RAY: I won! I won! We won!  
  
Beets picks up the Saucy Mare tickets and waves them in the air.  
  
BEETS: We're going to the Super Computer! We're going to the Super Computer!  
  
A Binome at the counter speaks up, pointing at the clock.  
  
BINOME: No lads, SAUCY MARE goes to the Super Computer- in five minutes!  
  
RAY: Oh sh….I mean cursors!  
  
He and BEETS start grabbing the chips and tickets, scooping them into an empty pillow case. In their haste some chips miss the case and fall to the floor. Beets scrambles around, sliding on them and falls on the floor. He flails around, knocking over the table, sending all the other binomes reeling.  
  
BEETS: Sorry sorry! My fault!  
  
BOB: (O/C) Uh…cut…cut.  
  
  
  
SCENE: Same scene, second take  
  
BEETS: We're going to the Super Computer! We're going to the Super Computer!  
  
BINOME: No lads, SAUCY MARE goes to the Super Computer- in five minutes!  
  
RAY: Oh cursors!  
  
They start scrambling to dump the chips in the pillow case and this time they do it successfully, only when they run to get out the door, the both trip over eachother in their haste and go falling to the floor, knocking over the door set.  
  
BOB: (O/C) Cut! Cut!  
  
  
  
SCENE: Same scene, take 15  
  
BEETS: We're going to America! We're going to America- oops…sorry wrong line.  
  
BOB: (O/C) Cuuut!  
  
  
  
SCENE: Same scene, take 32  
  
RAY: Oh shiiii-t- oops, sorry, shouldn't have said that-  
  
  
  
SCENE: Same scene, take 58  
  
BINOME: No lads, SAUCY MARE goes to the Super Computer- in five minutes!  
  
RAY: Oh cursors!  
  
They scramble to dump the winnings in the bag and run out the door, making good timing. They're just about to get out of the scene successfully when Ray trips right outside the door and falls down.  
  
RAY: Owe!  
  
BOB: Okay, forget this! Let's move on to the next scene!  
  
  
  
  
  
SCENE: Interior of the SAUCY MARE. Various Sprites are passing to and fro just outside the eating hall in the first class section. We can point out AndrAIa walking beside Matrix and Dot, dressed as AndrAIa's mother. Mouse Brown steps on the set, carrying suitcases.  
  
OLDER ANDRAIA VOICE OVER: There was one particular passenger named Mouse Brown. Some people called her the Unsinkable Mouse Brown, and I've always wondered why that was so. Maybe because she was so full of hot air.  
  
MOUSE: (snaps) hey, I heard that!  
  
ANDRAIA VOICE OVER: Sorry.  
  
Mouse drops her bags on the bellboy's feet standing behind her.  
  
MOUSE: Here ya go, fella, if ya think ya can handle that. I'd carry it myself, but I'm a rich person now and I think AndrAIa's mother might put on a big fuss if I start doing things mahself, if ya know what I'm sayin.  
  
BELLBOY: Maybe they call her unsinkable because the ship's supposed to be unsinkable but the sink sunk anyway. So maybe Mouse isn't going to make it through the whole movie.  
  
MOUSE: I am too! Read the script!  
  
ANDRAIA'S MOTHER: That woman isn't anything but new money. Come dear, let's get dressed for dinner because we women have to wear six different gowns a day.  
  
ANDRAIA: We do?  
  
MOTHER: Yes. One for breakfast, one for after that, one for lunch, then one for after that, one for dinner, and then our nighties. I tell you dear, it's an expensive life we live.  
  
ANDRAIA: Tell me about it.  
  
Matrix walks up to them then, swinging his cane.  
  
MATRIX: Ah, there's my fiancé, ready for dinner?  
  
ANDRAIA: I've got to get dressed first.  
  
MATRIX: Why? You look fine the way you do.  
  
ANDRAIA: That's not in the script.  
  
MATRIX: It isn't?  
  
ANDRAIA: No.  
  
MATRIX: I thought it was.  
  
He takes out a script and flips through it. He can't find the page they're on and AndrAIa grabs the script, muttering to herself. Everyone else stands around, waiting.  
  
ANDRAIA: Men can't do anything by themselves.  
  
Finds the page and hands it to him.  
  
MATRIX: Ah- yes! I see! Wow, didn't know we had one of these!  
  
Starts reading from the script.  
  
MATRIX: Uh…yes AndrAIa, I am so sorry…I uh…I'll wait for you in the mess hall- I mean dining hall.  
  
He closes the script, smiles at her, then walks off.  
  
  
  
SCENE: On the main deck of the Saucy Mare. ALGY and BINKY are there. Binky is standing at the rail, looking outward. Algy comes up to him.  
  
ALGY: Sir?  
  
BINKY: Smooth sailing. Fire her up.  
  
ALGY: Yes sir.  
  
  
  
SCENE: Front of the Saucy Mare. Ray and Beets show up, running until they're at the very front, climbing up on the rail.  
  
RAY: It's a good thing we got on this boat when we did.  
  
BEETS: Yeah, or we might not have gotten on.  
  
RAY: Yeah…do you have lice?  
  
BEETS: Don't think so.  
  
RAY: Good, cuz I told that guy we didn't.  
  
BEETS: Wow, it's a long way down. Look! Dolphins!  
  
RAY: Where?  
  
The look down at the water, which is really a pool in a sound stage. Frisket is running around, a fin attached to his back, swimming around in the water.  
  
RAY: That's...uh…  
  
BEETS: Maybe Bob should invest some money in things like that.  
  
RAY: I'm king of the wo-ooaaah!  
  
He leans too far on the rail and falls out, falling into the pool below. He thrashes around, fighting to swim, then realizes that the water's only three feet deep. He stands up, soaking wet, Beets only a couple of feet above him on the boat set.  
  
BOB (O/C): Ray, I thought we worked on this-  
  
RAY: The rail's too low, Bob!  
  
MOUSE (O/C): Wahoo! Looking good, Ray!  
  
Whistles are heard all around.  
  
  
  
SCENE: It's night time. Yes, I know, we've missed some scenes and stuff, but this is Bob's movie, his script, his version. So live with it!  
  
Ray is lying on a bench in the middle of the deck, smoking a cigarette and looking up at the night sky. Halfway through inhaling he chokes and starts gagging, sitting up and dropping the cigarette. He's practically hacking up a hairball when AndrAIa runs by, crying hysterically.  
  
He tries to look after her, but his choking gets too much.  
  
RAY: (gasping) Bob, why'd you make me do something like that?! (choke) I'm gonna (cough) delete you!  
  
BOB (O/C): I didn't think you'd actually inhale it. Will somebody get this man some water?  
  
AndrAIa comes running back, grabbing a glass of water on the way. She has fake tears all over her face as she smilingly hands Ray the glass.  
  
ANDRAIA: Here you go, feel better?  
  
Ray takes a big gulp, taking a few deep breaths.  
  
RAY: Yeah, thanks.  
  
ANDRAIA: Good.  
  
She runs back to her place. This time Ray watches her, gets up, and starts following her across the deck to the back rail. By the time he's there, she's already hanging off the other side, threatening to jump. She looks scared out of her mind.  
  
RAY: I wouldn't if I were you!  
  
AndrAIa turns around too fast and loses her grip on the rail. She falls off the boat set and into the pool below. There's a big splash. Ray starts laughing and everyone starts cracking up.  
  
ANDRAIA (O/C): Hey! That's not funny!  
  
  
  
SCENE: Same scene, take 2  
  
RAY: I wouldn't if I were you!  
  
AndrAIa turns around slowly, looking at him.  
  
ANDRAIA: Don't come any closer! I'll jump!  
  
RAY: No you won't.  
  
ANDRAIA: What do you mean 'no I won't'? You can't tell me what to do, you're not the boss of me!  
  
RAY: Sorry, just thought I'd save your life that's all.  
  
ANDRAIA: Well don't do me any favors.  
  
RAY: I fell into a freezing cold ice lake once, you wanna hear about it?  
  
ANDRAIA: No.  
  
RAY: Well I fell into a freezing cold ice lake once. It was freezing cold.  
  
ANDRAIA: No kidding.  
  
RAY: Yeah, just like that water down there.  
  
ANDRAIA: Really…  
  
RAY: Yeah. It gets ya like a hundred needles going into your skin. It hurts, you know.  
  
ANDRAIA: Oh.  
  
RAY: So lady, why don't you climb over and-  
  
ANDRAIA: Don't come any closer! I know what you're thinking and you can't help me!  
  
RAY: What am I thinking then, huh?  
  
ANDRAIA: That I'm just some crazy rich girl that went crazy and wants to jump off the back of the boat!  
  
RAY: Well actually…you're right, but you wanna know what else? I'm thinking that what could be so horrible in your life that would make you want to do something like that…go crazy.  
  
ANDRAIA: I hate my life, okay! I'm rich, I'm snobby, I was popular in school, I have a lot of money, I'm supposedly the prettiest girl on this stupid boat, I'm engaged to a handsome, rich guy, and I hate my life!  
  
RAY: You're engaged?  
  
ANDRAIA: Yes. His name is Enzo Matrix.  
  
RAY: Oh, that big ugly green guy I see every now and then on deck?  
  
MATRIX (O/C): Bob, can I REALLY kill him when the time comes in the movie?  
  
BOB (O/C): No.  
  
ANDRAIA: That's him.  
  
RAY: Gee, I can see why you're unhappy. Okay, okay. Here, let me just help you. If you turn around slowly and I help you back over on this side of the rail, I can help you through your time of need.  
  
ANDRAIA: uh…okay.  
  
She turns around slowly, holding on to the rail until they're facing one another.  
  
RAY: My name's Ray Tracer.  
  
ANDRAIA: AndrAIa.  
  
RAY: That's it?  
  
She slowly lifts her leg, but because of the ridiculously long dress, she slips, let's go of the rail, and starts falling toward the waters below.  
  
ANDRAIA: aaaaaaaaaaaagh!  
  
RAY: (catching her) Hold on!  
  
ANDRAIA: Don't let me fall!  
  
RAY: Ironic, since that was your first original intention.  
  
He pulls her up and she falls back over the rail, landing on him on a pile on the floor. Just then sailors rush up, finding Ray lying on top of AndrAIa.  
  
SAILOR 1: Don't you move an inch! Get off her!  
  
RAY: (stands) well geez, you tell me not to move an inch, then you tell me to get off her, which one do you want?  
  
He stands there, hands in pockets as AndrAIa slowly stands up, straightening her dress. Matrix and his first-hand binome comes running up. Matrix makes a running head start and attacks Ray.  
  
MATRIX: What did you think you were doing, making a move on MY fiancé? Huhuhuh? Got something to say, tough guy?  
  
ANDRAIA: Matrix-  
  
RAY: I wasn't making a move on her! I was saving her from leaping off the back of the boat!  
  
ANDRAIA: Well, I slipped and fell off the back of the boat.  
  
FIRST HAND BINOME: What were you doing hanging off the back of the boat?  
  
ANDRAIA: Well I uh…I could've sworn that was the swimming pool! Sorry, my mistake.  
  
RAY: Yeah, that was smooth.  
  
MATRIX: (skeptically) Well thank you for saving her uh…Mr…  
  
RAY: Tracer. Ray Tracer.  
  
MATRIX: So here's fifty credits.  
  
ANDRAIA: That's IT? THAT'S ALL I'M WORTH TO YOU? FIFTY CREDITS! Why not make it forty so I can leave!  
  
MATRIX: Sixty? Okay fine, here's what we'll do. Ray, why don't you come to dinner tomorrow night, so you can tell everyone your heroic tale. There, that good enough for you?  
  
RAY: Actually, can I have the sixty-  
  
MATRIX: Don't make me shoot you.  
  
  
  
To be continued…. 


	3. Part 3

Scene: The stage room where shooting has not yet started for the day. Bob is, as usual, going over the script while the actors are gathered backstage.  
  
DOT: Those who hate this film, please raise your hand.  
  
Everyone in the room raises their hand, including the stage crew. Bob continues writing, oblivious to everything around him.  
  
DOT: I thought so.  
  
ANDRAIA: Well…it's not so bad, I kinda like it…sorta.  
  
RAY: What's our scene for today?  
  
MOUSE: The dinner scene.  
  
RAY: Oh.  
  
DOT: This should be fun.  
  
ENZO: When's the boat going to sink? Huhuhuh?  
  
Every one looks at Enzo, who had somehow popped up out of nowhere.  
  
MOUSE: Is he allowed in here? Isn't this moving a little risqué for him?  
  
ENZO: Hey! I'm not a kid, you know?  
  
MATRIX: Actually…you are.  
  
Just then Bob takes his attention from the script and approaches them.  
  
BOB: Uh…guys…the actress playing AndrAIa's mother called in sick this morning, so we're going to need a subsitute.  
  
DOT: Substitute?  
  
BOB: Can you do it?  
  
DOT: Me?  
  
BOB: Yeah…since I originally wanted you for the part.  
  
DOT: I don't want to be the old lady!  
  
ANDRAIA: Don't be talking, Dot! I have to be an old lady too, okay?  
  
DOT: Yeah but…someone as pretty as me should never be old. But with you…  
  
She trails off when she sees AndrAIa glaring at her.  
  
DOT: Right…I'll be the substitute.  
  
BOB: Thanks! Okay, everyone…places!  
  
  
  
SCENE: AndrAIa's bedroom. She's sitting in front of the mirror, brushing her hair. Matrix walks in carrying a box.  
  
MATRIX: Dry yet?  
  
ANDRAIA: Of course.  
  
MATRIX: You look nice.  
  
ANDRAIA: I do not.  
  
MATRIX: Yes you do!  
  
ANDRAIA: I don't! I nearly fell overboard, I do not look alright!  
  
MATRIX: Okay! Geez, sorry. Anyway, the reason I came was to give you this.  
  
He takes out the HEART OF THE WEB and holds it up in front of her. It's A HUGE DIAMOND the size of her fist.  
  
ANDRAIA: Wow…a rock.  
  
MATRIX: Not just any rock, it's THE HEART OF THE WEB, a very expensive jewel I bought that nearly cost me my life's savings, but that's okay, I'm rich and my dad won't mind that I borrowed his credit card. Here, let me put it on you.  
  
He puts the necklace on over her head, but the weight is so much she practically falls out of her chair.  
  
ANDRAIA: it's heavy alright.  
  
MATRIX: It's for you.  
  
ANDRAIA: Uh…thanks.  
  
He straightens up.  
  
MATRIX: Well I must get going. Gotta go have a smoke with my buddies and everything. See ya in the morning?  
  
AndrAIa's grimacing under the weight of the necklace, but she manages to force a small smile.  
  
ANDRAIA: Yeah, yeah, whatever.  
  
MATRIX: Good-night.  
  
He kisses her on the forehead, then leaves. AndrAIa watches as he disappears, then takes the necklace off. She looks at it in disgust, then goes over to the safe hidden in her closet. Opening the safe, she carelessly tosses it inside, slamming it shut.  
  
  
  
  
  
SCENE: First Class Deck  
  
Ray and AndrAIa are walking on the deck, Ray carrying a rather curious notepad in his hands.  
  
ANDRAIA: So I just wanted to thank you for what you did for me.  
  
RAY: I did something?  
  
ANDRAIA: Remember? I was going to jump and you…?  
  
RAY: Oh! You mean you really were about to jump? Whoa, I'm better than I thought.  
  
ANDRAIA: Well it's nothing to get snide over-  
  
RAY: Who said anything about snide?  
  
ANDRAIA: No one, it's just that you don't have to be so snide about saving me-  
  
RAY: Well geez, you called me here to thank me, didn't you?  
  
ANDRAIA: Well…  
  
RAY: Which you did, right?  
  
ANDRAIA: Yeah.  
  
RAY: So who says I'm being snide?  
  
ANDRAIA: Forget it. I'm here to thank you, which I am doing.  
  
RAY: Yes, I can see that.  
  
ANDRAIA: So thank you.  
  
They continue walking down the deck, an uncomfortable silence forming between the two.  
  
RAY: Soooo….um….that Matrix guy…you're marying him?  
  
ANDRAIA: Yes.  
  
RAY: Was that why you wanted to jump?  
  
ANDRAIA: For heaven sakes, of course not! (Acts surprised.)  
  
RAY: Just asking…  
  
ANDRAIA: It's just that everything has been such a…huge pressure to me. 5 thousand invitations have been sent out for the wedding, all my mother thinks about is that. Not to mention the gifts, the presents, the jewels…  
  
She holds out her hand, which has a giant ring on her finger.  
  
RAY: Whoa, you would've gone straight to the bottom. (snickers.)  
  
ANDRAIA: What's so funny?  
  
RAY: I just like that line, that's all.  
  
ANDRAIA: Well actually…I wasn't exactly wearing it last night-  
  
RAY: Do you love him?  
  
ANDRAIA: (acting surprised) Excuse me?  
  
RAY: Do you love him?  
  
ANDRAIA: Excuse me, but I don't think that's something I should discuss with you!  
  
RAY: It's just a simple yes or no answer, are you trying to hide something?  
  
ANDRAIA: You know what? I thank you very much Mr. Ray, but it seems that my mother is calling me and-  
  
RAY: I don't hear your mother calling you.  
  
ANDRAIA: (Clenched teeth) You know what? Maybe if you listen a little harder…  
  
RAY: Sorry. Can't hear her. Are you sure that's your mother?  
  
ANDRAIA: You know what? I've thanked you, you've been incredibly rude, so I'm going to leave now.  
  
RAY: Okay.  
  
ANDRAIA: That's it? Okay? You're not going to try to stop me?  
  
RAY: I thought you were leaving, I'm just waiting for you to leave.  
  
ANDRAIA: Wait a minute…this is my side of the boat! You leave!  
  
RAY: Well excuse me, you're being incredibly rude!  
  
ANDRAIA: Well you started it!  
  
RAY: Did not!  
  
ANDRAIA: Did too!  
  
RAY: Did not!  
  
ANDRAIA: Did too did too did too did too!  
  
She stops when she notices everyone on deck staring at them. She immediately lowers her voice and glares at him. Finally seeing the notepad in his hand, she snatches it away.  
  
RAY: Hey! That's mine!  
  
ANDRAIA: Ha! I've got your notepad!  
  
She skips over to the lawn chairs set up on the side for sunbathers, and opens the notepad. She's immediately disgusted and shocked at what she sees and she practically has to cover her eyes. Ray sits down beside her, grinning at his own work.  
  
ANDRAIA: Oh my goodness!  
  
RAY: What?  
  
ANDRAIA: You draw…bunnies?  
  
RAY: Yeah! Aren't they cute? (points) There's that one, and that one, and that one, and that one…I named that one Thumper-  
  
ANDRAIA: That's not the point, Mr. Ray. Don't you draw anything else?  
  
RAY: Well…  
  
She flips a page where she sees a giant, well-done drawing of a woman wearing nothing.  
  
ANDRAIA: Um…  
  
Ray smacks his forehead.  
  
ANDRAIA: Uh…(making an attempt to be nice) It's well done? No- really, it is, it's good, might have been better if there were…you know…clothes.  
  
RAY: Well…  
  
She shuts the book and gives it willingly back to him.  
  
ANDRAIA: You're incredibly talented, Mr. Ray, I'm impressed.  
  
RAY: I make a living off of my pictures, you know?  
  
ANDRAIA: Really? Like you plan to do in America?  
  
RAY: I don't really know what I'm going to do in America. I just won that Go Fish game and happened to get lucky on a pair of tickets.  
  
ANDRAIA: Where will you live?  
  
RAY: Well…I was hoping I'd bum a few bucks off of you and see Vegas…  
  
ANDRAIA: Have you ever been there?  
  
RAY: Sure! Lots of times! Horseback riding, cowboy talking, the works.  
  
ANDRAIA: I wish I could do those things.  
  
RAY: I can teach you when we get there.  
  
ANDRAIA: There are so many things I don't understand about that place. The men, I mean. One leg on each side of the saddle- doesn't that hurt? And the spitting, I have no idea how to spit-  
  
RAY: I can show you!  
  
He jumps up eagerly, running over to the side of the deck.  
  
ANDRAIA: Um…I really hear my mother calling now.  
  
RAY: Don't be a wuss, come on!  
  
He grabs her hand and drags her to the edge. She fights him, but he wins and she stands almost reluctantly next to the rail.  
  
RAY: Okay, this is what you do, first you have to breath kinda like this-  
  
He starts making really gross sounds through his throat, and AndrAIa gives him a weird look. Luckily, just then her mother, Mouse, and some other lady walk by.  
  
ANDRAIA: (relieved) Mother!  
  
Ray whirls around, wiping his mouth just in time. The three women look at him funny.  
  
MOUSE: Uh…hello dear…  
  
ANDRAIA: Mom, this is Ray, he saved me last night and he's going to have dinner with us.  
  
DOT: (Tugging unhappily at her wrinkle make-up) This is the one, huh? Well that's really nice, AndrAIa, we must go wash up for dinner.  
  
ANDRAIA: Aww…isn't the dress I'm wearing just fine?  
  
DOT: No, now let's go.  
  
AndrAIa starts complaining, but Dot grabs her arm and pulls her away from the deck. Ray is now left standing with Mouse and that other woman.  
  
MOUSE: So…you're the one, huh?  
  
RAY: Yeah.  
  
MOUSE: Nice ta meet ya, name's Mouse.  
  
RAY: Hi.  
  
MOUSE: You're not going to wear that, are you? To dinner, I mean.  
  
RAY: Do I have a choice?  
  
  
  
SCENE: Mouse's bedroom. Ray is standing in front of a full-length mirror, wearing a tuxedo. His hair is slicked back, and he's attempting to stand up straight. He looks rediculous.  
  
MOUSE: Voila! You look so…so…  
  
RAY: Stupid.  
  
MOUSE: That was not what I was going to say! Here, maybe if we remove the glasses- (reaches for the glasses)  
  
RAY: (jumps away) Whoa! Hands off! Off the glasses, they stay on the face, okay?  
  
MOUSE: But they're hardly the fashion, they're what's making you look 'stupid', as you so delicately put it.  
  
RAY: I like them, and that's all that matters.  
  
MOUSE: (Doubtfully) Okay, it's your reputation.  
  
  
  
  
  
SCENE: Main Stairway/Hallway of the first class. Ray is standing at the foot of the stairs, hands behind his back, looking to and fro for AndrAIa as people walk by. One of them happens to be Matrix, escorting Dot toward the Dining Hall.  
  
RAY: Hey, Matty-boy-  
  
But Matrix just keeps walking, not even recognizing him. Ray frowns, then looks around for AndrAIa again. He starts rocking back and forth on his heels, whistling when-  
  
AndrAIa shows up at the top of the stairs, dressed in a really pretty gown, all sparkly and pretty. He just stares at her as she descends.  
  
ANDRAIA: Glad you could make it, Mr. Ray.  
  
RAY: (Bouncing on his heels nervously) Yeah, yeah, let's just…get in there.  
  
They walk together toward the Dining Hall, and Ray looks at all the people as they pass.  
  
ANDRAIA: That's Prissy over there. She owns lingerie. Designs it actually.  
  
RAY: (interested) Really?  
  
  
  
SCENE: Some time has passed, and now everyone is sitting at a big round table. Ray now looks debonair and handsome, and Matrix is glaring at him from across the table.  
  
DOT: (To Ray) So…I hear you are an artist?  
  
RAY: Who told you?  
  
ANDRAIA: (speaks up) I- I did.  
  
RAY: Oh. Yeah, I do.  
  
MATRIX: And what is it, exactly, that you draw?  
  
RAY: Well…  
  
ANDRAIA: Mr. Ray is an accomplished artist, Mr. Matrix. He was kind enough to show me some of his work today.  
  
RAY: Show you? Yeah, whatever, snatching it out of my hands- er…I mean, yeah, of course, no problem. (clears throat) My pleasure.  
  
MATRIX: Mr. Ray is here because of his heroic deed last night. (Looks at Ray and speaks through clenched teeth) From his words, he saved my darling AndrAIa from some unknown doom from falling over the rail toward the back of the ship.  
  
Everyone looks at the table with polite smiles, but none of them look too thrilled. AndrAIa gives them all dirty looks.  
  
RAY: Uh…yeah, I did that.  
  
ANDRAIA: Which I'm very grateful for.  
  
At that time some guy at the end of the table stands up.  
  
GUY: Well, it seems that we are all finished with dinner, so men, if you would join me to the Brandy room and…  
  
His voice is drowned out as AndrAIa leans toward Ray.  
  
ANDRAIA: Watch, they're all going to get up, straightening their jackets, and head off for the next room where they'll spend the rest of the night smoking and congratulating themselves on being rulers of the universe.  
  
And that's what happens. The men all got up, straightened their jackets, and headed off for the next room where they'll spend the rest of the night smoking and congratulating themselves on being rulers of the universe.  
  
RAY: (Stands up, shouting after them) Gee, thanks for inviting me along with you, but I must go.  
  
ANDRAIA: So soon?  
  
DOT: (clenched teeth) No, go ahead if you must.  
  
RAY: (shakes AndrAIa's hand, then kisses it, secretly leaving a message in her hand.) All good things must come to an end…unfortunately this wasn't one of them.  
  
He leaves, and AndrAIa notices the letter in her hand. She opens it, and the words:  
  
MEET ME AT THE CLOCK ON TOP OF THE STAIRS  
  
  
  
To Be Continued… 


	4. Part 4

It's the stage set of 'Saucy Mare', and shooting has not yet begun for the day. Everyone's there, walking around. Bob is working on the script.  
  
BOB: Hm…maybe we should do it THIS way…  
  
ENZO: Bob? Whatcha doing?  
  
BOB: Enzo? What are you doing here? You shouldn't be here you should be…  
  
ENZO: I have nothing to do Bob!  
  
BOB: Okay then well…want a job?  
  
ENZO: Sure!  
  
BOB: You're the new intern. Go get me some coffee.  
  
Enzo gives him a dirty look and walks off. Dot walks back up to him.  
  
DOT: Bob, are we doing any filming today?  
  
BOB: Nope.  
  
DOT: No? Then what are we all doing here?  
  
BOB: It has come to my attention that we are short of castmembers so today is an audition day. We are all the judges.  
  
DOT: And who's auditioning for who?  
  
BOB: I don't know. We'll find out.  
  
Bob stands up from his director's chair to address the room. Everyone goes to their own seats and looks up at him. Enzo is standing sulkily behind the coffeepot.  
  
BOB: Attention everyone! We will be entering a new segment of this movie so that means more people! MATRIX: Like who? We've got everyone we need. BOB: An assistant director.  
  
EVERYONE: WHAT??!!!  
  
Everyone bursts out talking. Mostly yelling.  
  
MOUSE: But Bob…you don't need someone to AUDITION to be your assistant!!!  
  
BOB: Well…that's not our only problem.  
  
MOUSE: Well what is?  
  
BOB: Well…you know that whole issue with the fourth season?  
  
MOUSE: What issue…  
  
BOB: Well…the issue with Ray. You know, how he mysteriously lost his voice.  
  
MOUSE: Mysterious…I'd say.  
  
Everyone turns to look at Ray, who's sitting in his chair, looking back at everyone. Matrix frowns at him.  
  
MATRIX: you STILL can't talk?  
  
BOB: Well…he could BEFORE Season IV, but then when we had to take time off the movie to film it, Ray had a mysterious condition and now we have to replace him.  
  
AndrAIa looks stunned.  
  
ANDRAIA: By WHO???!!!!  
  
BOB: That's what the auditions are for.  
  
DOT: Oh boy.  
  
  
  
Scene: All the actors (including Ray) is standing behind a long table. Bob is in the middle of course, a notepad in his hand.  
  
BOB: Okay Mike, let them in!  
  
They hear a door opening and heavy footsteps enter the room. They all look up to see MEGABYTE walk in.  
  
DOT: Megabyte?  
  
MOUSE: YOU'RE going to audition for Ray's character?  
  
MEGABYTE: (inspects claws) I do consider myself a highly respectable stage and film actor, if I do say so myself.  
  
AndrAIa looks sick.  
  
BOB: (hesitantly) Okay well…then whenever you're ready.  
  
MEGABYTE: Don't be stupid Bob, I'm not here for Ray's part.  
  
Everyone heaves a sigh of relief.  
  
MEGABYTE: I'm here for the director's job.  
  
Bob looks stunned.  
  
BOB: But…that's MY job! You can be the ASSISTANT director if you want-  
  
MEGABYTE: Nah. I like the Director's job better.  
  
BOB: But you can't!  
  
MEGABYTE: Okay then. I'll audition for Ray.  
  
ANDRAIA: Noooooo!!!!!!!  
  
She leaps to her feet, causing everyone to look up at her in surprise.  
  
ANDRAIA: I REFUSE to SLEEP with MEGABYTE!!!!!!  
  
There's a stunned silence. Pins drop. Crickets churp. Enzo is standing on the sidelines with the coffeepot.  
  
ENZO: You're going to SLEEP with MEGABYTE??  
  
Mouse and Dot start snickering. Matrix looks at Megabyte like he's about to kill him with his eye.  
  
ANDRAIA: No Enzo, it's 'acting'. But I won't even 'act' like I am! If you hire Megabyte Bob, I'll…I'll…quit!  
  
BOB: But-  
  
ANDRAIA: And then you're going to have to replace me!  
  
BOB: But AndrAIa, he's the only one, and we're on a deadline!  
  
AndrAIa leaves her chair and runs over to Ray.  
  
ANDRAIA: Speak Ray!  
  
RAY:……  
  
ANDRAIA: Say something!  
  
MOUSE: I don't think it's going to work, Andi.  
  
ANDRAIA: It has to! Oh! I just had an idea!  
  
MEGABYTE: That's a first. Getting used to thinking on your own?  
  
ANDRAIA: (ignores him) You know that Little Mermaid story? Where Ariel loses her voice? The only way she could get it back was to kiss the Prince!  
  
MATRIX: He's NOT kissing you.  
  
ANDRAIA: Then he could kiss Mouse!  
  
MOUSE: Uh…sugar, I don't think that works.  
  
ANDRAIA: Why not?  
  
MOUSE: Cuz I've…done that.  
  
AndrAIa looks crestfallen. Megabyte rolls his eyes and strolls up to Ray.  
  
MEGABYTE: Oh for goodness sake, here-  
  
He hits Ray's head, sending a shock through his body. Ray's eyes go wide.  
  
RAY: Ouch!  
  
MOUSE: He can talk!  
  
MEGABYTE: Of course he can. I gave the voice back.  
  
ANDRAIA: You took it from him?  
  
MEGABYTE: Hey, he roams the web. I needed to infect SOMETHING while I was there…  
  
MOUSE: (looks at Ray) WHY didn't you tell us?  
  
RAY: How? I couldn't SPEAK, remember?  
  
BOB: Gee…okay then Megabyte, you can have the part of Assistant Director.  
  
MEGABYTE: ASSISTANT? Oh fine, whatever you say. I'll just secretly plot to kill you in your office tonight so I can get the job myself and rule the world.  
  
Everyone looks at him. Ray's rubbing his throat.  
  
MEGABYTE: Did I say that outloud?  
  
BOB: Uh…I guess we'd better start filming then.  
  
  
  
SCENE: The lower decks of the Saucy Mare. It's a loud, lower class party so everyone's having fun. Ray is running all over the place, screaming at the top of lungs as he does some kind of dance on the platform. AndrAIa is sitting on the sidelines in a chair, looking around nervously. There's a drunken binome sitting across from her who gives her a toothy grin.  
  
BINOME: Hi….  
  
AndrAIa gives him a dirty look and inches her chair away. The binome leans forward even closer, setting his mug on the table.  
  
BINOME: I like you…  
  
ANDRAIA: Thanks…I'll remember that…  
  
BINOME: Do you like whipped cream?  
  
ANDRAIA: With strawberries?  
  
  
  
The binome's smile widens even more as he gives her a sickly look.  
  
BINOME: No….  
  
AndrAIa immediately jumps to her feet, looking around for Ray. The binome disappears as she wonders around the crowd. Finally she bumps into Ray, who's laughing with some other girl.  
  
ANDRAIA: Ray, there's this…binome person, he kinda freaked me out and-  
  
RAY: Hi AndrAIa! Having fun? (Grabs her and pulls her up on the dancing platform. She struggles to get off, but he keeps pulling her on.)  
  
ANDRAIA: I don't know how to-  
  
RAY: Neither do I!  
  
ANDRAIA: Then why the hell did you pull me up here? We look like a bunch of idiots!  
  
Every starts to stare at them as they continue to stand there. Ray starts jumping up and down in what seems like a distorted chicken dance. AndrAIa notices the binome from before, staring at her with the same sickly grin on his face.  
  
ANDRAIA: That's it, I'm getting off-  
  
She gets off, leaving Ray to dance to disco music. She finds herself at a bar where a woman hands her a drink.  
  
WOMAN: Here, drink this.  
  
ANDRAIA: What is it?  
  
WOMAN: Strawberry juice.  
  
AndrAIa looks sick as the woman walks off, taking a small sip.  
  
AN HOUR LATER…  
  
AndrAIa is running all over the dance floor, yelling at the top of her lungs and twirling around with Ray. Both are laughing hysterically, walking back to the tables where they can get a quick breather.  
  
RAY: So what do you think?  
  
ANDRAIA: About what?  
  
RAY: The party!  
  
ANDRAIA: Oh yeah! It's great!  
  
She stumbles backwards a little and runs into a different binome. Ray helps her regain her balance and they both sit down.  
  
RAY: Here, have a drink.  
  
She takes the glass and chugs it. He looks at her, startled.  
  
RAY: Have you ever drank before?  
  
ANDRAIA: No…not until that nice woman gave me a glass at the bar. She kept refilling it too, which was really nice of her.  
  
She grins and sets the empty mug down. There's a moment of silence as they both look at each other. AndrAIa's drunken look starts to fade away.  
  
ANDRAIA: That was your line.  
  
RAY: No it wasn't- (looks around wildly) was it?  
  
ANDRAIA: Don't you remember?  
  
RAY: No, I thought it was yours!  
  
The music stops abruptly.  
  
MEGABYTE: CUT!!  
  
BOB: Hey, that's my job!  
  
AndrAIa and Ray look up where Megabyte has now taken over the camera. Everyone else is sitting a good distance away, watching from afar. Bob is the only one standing beside Megabyte, looking angry.  
  
BOB: Now look here Megabyte! Nowhere in the contract does it say you're the director! I'M the director and it's going to stay that way!  
  
MEGABYTE: No wonder the movie's so lousy.  
  
BOB: This movie is NOT lousy!  
  
MEGABYTE: The actors can't even remember their lines. You call yourself a director? And you wrote this script too.  
  
AndrAIa is shaking her head and Ray is leaning heavily back in his chair.  
  
BOB: You're the ASSISTANT director! If Enzo wasn't already here YOU'D be the one running and getting me coffee!  
  
MEGABYTE: I will never go down that far. I'm taking over this picture whether you like it or not. (raises camera, ignoring Bob's protests) Okay everyone, refill AndrAIa's glass with the apple juice and let's start again.  
  
The picture starts rolling again.  
  
ANDRAIA: She kept refilling it too, which was really nice of her.  
  
RAY: I'll bet.  
  
ANDRAIA: Is it just me or is it really hot in here?  
  
RAY: It's you.  
  
ANDRAIA: (grinning crazily) really?  
  
RAY: Uh…are you sure you're okay?  
  
As they laugh and talk, Ray leads AndrAIa back on the dancefloor. Meanwhile, in the background…  
  
FIRST HAND BINOME- AH HECK, LET'S JUST CALL HIM PEARSON-  
  
MR. PEARSON, Matrix's firt hand binome comes down the stairs, followed by more of Matrix's minions. He sees AndrAIa running around like an idiot, rolls his eyes, and turns to back up.  
  
  
  
SCENE: Next morning. AndrAIa and Matrix are sitting across from each other, sipping tea. Matrix is reading the newspaper. In the background is Maxine, sweeping the floors wearing a maid's costume.  
  
MATRIX: So…  
  
ANDRAIA: (looks nervously at him)yes?  
  
MATRIX: I was…er…hoping you'd…(nervous)come over last night and…stuff…  
  
ANDRAIA: Stuff?  
  
MATRIX: Yeah and…  
  
ANDRAIA: Well…I was tired, I went to bed.  
  
There's a long pause. Matrix flips a page of his newspaper.  
  
MATRIX: I'm not surprised. Hung-over, dear?  
  
ANDRAIA: W-what?  
  
MATRIX: No doubt you still must be hung over from your excursions down in the…low class department.  
  
ANDRAIA: H-how-how did you know about that?  
  
MATRIX: I have my sources.  
  
AndrAIa stars at him, trying to read his mind. He simply continues to read his newspaper.  
  
ANDRAIA: You sent Pearson down, didn't you? That's soooooooo typical of you! Can't you just let me be for one night?  
  
MATRIX: I'm afraid if I did that, you'd be sleeping around with other men.  
  
ANDRAIA: How dare you! I'm not one of those women that you can boss around! I'm your fiancee!  
  
MATRIX: My fiancee- yes! My fiancee!  
  
He stands up, crumpling the newspaper. In his anger he shoves their table aside, cups and plates flying everywhere.  
  
MATRIX: Exactly! And as my fiancee you will honor me the way a woman honors her husband!  
  
With that he stomps away leaving AndrAIa in her chair and-  
  
MEGABYTE: CUTTT!!!  
  
AndrAIa, Matrix, and Maxine stop and look at him.  
  
BOB: Megabyte! Stop trying to take over the movie! You're my assistant!  
  
MEGABYTE: And as your assistant it is my duty to help you in things you don't notice. And you, obviously, don't notice a thing.  
  
ANDRAIA: What's wrong NOW?!  
  
MEGABYTE: Matrix. You're way too soft.  
  
Matrix looks aghast.  
  
MATRIX: Too soft?  
  
MEGABYTE: Please don't tell me that's the worst you can do. I've fought you remember? I know how violent you can get. I want you to get that violent with AndrAIa.  
  
ANDRAIA: What! You want him to punch me out?  
  
MEGABYTE: It would do us all a favor…  
  
MATRIX: (angrily) WHY don't YOU sit in the chair! I'll have no PROBLEM punching YOUR lights out AGAIN!!  
  
MEGABYTE: Don't be overdramatic. It's things like that that end celebrity marriages. All we need is more…MORE. Matrix, don't be afraid to be aggressive. You're an actor for god sake, man. ACT like it.  
  
Bob is sitting in his director's chair, eyeing Megabyte evilly.  
  
  
  
SCENE: Same scene.  
  
ANDRAIA: I'm your fiancee-  
  
MATRIX: My fiancee- yes! My fiancee! (stands up, shoving the table aside. With his new force it nearly collides with Maxine. AndrAIa coils back) And as my fiancee you will be required to honor me! Honor me the way a woman is supposed to honor the husband!  
  
He stalks off. AndrAIa is staring at the mess in horror, and Maxine rushes over. Before Matrix can leave, however-  
  
ANDRAIA: I'm GLAD we're not together in this MOVIE!!  
  
BOB: Cut!!! Adlib!  
  
MEGABYTE: There's nothing wrong with that, Bob. It adds flavor to the movie.  
  
An argument insues between the two, and Matrix walks back on set. He, AndrAIa, and Maxine are watching them in disbelief.  
  
  
  
SCENE: Night. Filming is over for the day.  
  
Enzo is walking through the set, carrying a coffee mug with him, grumbling to himself.  
  
ENZO: (mimicking Bob) "Oh yes Enzo, be my gopher, get the coffee ready for our three AM wake up call", "Get the coffee Enzo, it's your job"- Yeah right, why can't he get the coffee HIMSELF?  
  
He walks over to a sink and proceeds to dump the old coffee contents out when he hears something coming from Bob's office.  
  
ENZO: B-bob?  
  
Another noise, only it's softer. Walking out of the kitchen and across the sets, he approaches his office slowly.  
  
ENZO: (Barely a whisper) Who's there?  
  
Reaching the door he finds that it's open a crack, the light on inside. Peeking in, he sees Megabyte sitting at Bob's desk, going through his things.  
  
ENZO: (gasps)  
  
He turns and runs from the stage set.  
  
  
  
TO BE CONTINUED… 


End file.
